THE BLOCK

It's rather peculiar how difficult it can be to write something down on paper or on your personal computer. I mean, even now, I am having difficulty conjuring up anything worthwhile to write that I'd even find interesting. I can say that it has been a very long time since I've even attempted to write anything before today and the reason is: I don't fucking know the reason why I haven't written anything. I mean, if I'd have to dig deep and be honest with myself, I'd have to say it's been a mixture of laziness and not wanting to take the time to even spark my creativity that seems to have been lacking lately. I remember living by myself and being able to come up things on the fly. Loneliness really can do a hell of a goddamn number to one's emotions. In some ways, I enjoyed the feeling of being alone. I enjoyed the feelings that I'd feel on a day to day basis. Some days were very challenging and some days were very blissful being by myself, controlling my environment to best of my ability and sometimes not.

So, I have recently started watching a wonderful series on my Netflix streaming video called, Californiacation. It stars David Duchovny as a writer who tries to juggle his career, his relationship with his daughter and his ex-girlfriend, as well as his appetite for beautiful women. I'm about five episodes in and right now he is currently struggling with writers block amongst many other things that I wish I could be struggling with. Watch the series and you'd know what I meant by that. Anyhow, its been five years since he has written anything worthwhile. I am in envy of his character and this show. I've come across it many times in the video store and on the Netflix streaming account, but never brought myself to watch it until yesterday. I'm so glad I've finally started it. It's now fast becoming one of my favorite shows to watch and the main reason why I've wanted to start writing again. This show is thoroughly entertaining and lots of eye candy to boot. I very rarely watch a show wishing I could have just a little of what that character brings to the screen. But with this one, I do. Again, you'd have to watch the show to know why I feel such a way. And no, it's not the crazy amounts of sex that he has that makes me envy this character. I mean, don't get me wrong, it helps just a tad bit. I honestly just admire the way this guy goes about his upside down life. Lets just say Hank Moody(David D.) just a little unpredictable and quite the train wreck, and that'd be an understatement for sure. He's the epitome of a bad boy with a heart. I heart this dude. Oh, I swear, I heart, is so not my day to day lingo. I promise you. LOL(and neither is that).

But I can't be him. I'm me, and damn, from the last time I've even attempted a juvenile attempt on writing my life and/or my feelings, I've come and gone to many different places and very interesting places at that. I wonder though, through writing more, can I get to even more places emotionally and even physically? Maybe even become a little like Hank Moody in Californiacation(I can wish, right?) We shall see. But first, lets get the off the wall, eradicate this writers block and fill in the empty spaces that pile up everyday that I haven't written anything and catch up with myself...